First ≠ Die

To be honest I am no good in forgetting. I still remember the days, moments, and events during my early childhood beneath my schema. I still remember not all the days, moments, and events but all the significant ones which instilled in my mind on purpose. I can still remember those memories which left a dent mark in my mind, in my heart, or even just random as long as my nerves permits those memories to create a vivid imagery in my head. I can still visualize how innocent I was, how gullible, how weird, and how insignificant I’ve become.

But with all of this what I still clearly remember the most was my first true love. I still remember the day of how we able to get to know each other, how we eventually become close to each other by being each other’s best friends, how we used to tease each other’s innocence, how we spent countless conversations whatever conversations that was/were. I still remember the day that you told me that we are obviously together, the day when you first said you love me, the day that we first kissed; the day when we first made love, the day when we got lost , the day of our fateful day, the day we had that worse fight, the day we broke up and the day of our last kiss, last tears, last laugh, last love and last memory.

Yes, I still remember the days. And while almost everyone tells me that it’s definitely wrong to still remember these days, I still... do just because I still do. But honestly I didn’t find anything wrong with still remembering these days, still counting months. I actually find fault instead in celebrating wrong days, declaring wrong months and miscounting durations just because this is what I’m good at.

Maybe the world condemns me for still holding on to these days, for still counting the months have had passed. But then again, it is by doing so that you’ll know how I valued and still respect those memories we’ve had. Even I probably know that there will never be “us” again, it’s still good to remember these days with you.

The bottom line is, our first true love never really die in us. We just learn to grow apart and live the lessons each of you has given one another for it’ll become the basis of the one you’ll end up in love.