These days, my life has been a collection of countdown. Thirty more minutes till I have to get ready. Twenty more minutes till I have to get over. Ten more minutes till I reach my destination. Get ready, get over, here we go again. Three hours, just three hours to survive. One more hour till it's break time. Two hours and I'm out here. It's only been seven minutes since I last checked. This is the longest shift. This is the longest day. I don't think I can do this. But I do, because I walk out of the door and onto the count down of my next task. I read a quote about difficulty in getting up from bed, yet remembering all the yesterdays that I did and went wrong. I don't laugh. I abhor myself. For someone like me, there is only this moment and the next one and the time in between them. It's always about trying to survive, and it doesn't make it any easier remembering that I survived before. Yesterday is not today. What I feel now won't disappear by tomorrow.