The first girl who ever loved me has a good life. She's happy and looking really awesome. She has a handsome boyfriend now and it occurred to me that someday, beyond my imaginations, I’ll be sitting in a pew at her wedding, just another familiar face in the crowd, reminiscing of the happy moments we shared together, thinking of a time when we used to hold hands and talk on the phone until the morning light would stream in through the window. And at the back of my mind, my sixth sense is telling that I was lucky to have her in my life even not for a long time. I must agree but I can't help to ask myself, "does she felt the same thing?" Maybe, it's a no. I don't know. But what's important is that exact once-in-a-lifetime-moment of her life. I'll have a momentary glimpse of her walking in the aisle -- she looks amazing and beautiful even before, the lucky guy is patiently waiting for her at the altar. I don't exactly know how it feels like to be that guy at the altar waiting for the woman of his life. I think it's indescribable and no specific words can fill that emotions. Alas, she's now happily married. And at the reception, I’ll wrap my arms around her in a tight hug and whisper in her ear, “Congratulations, dear. You deserve the world.” Because, goddamn, it’s true; that girl deserves everything this life has to offer.

The first girl who ever loved me used to whisper sweet nothings on my ear, endlessly. Years ago, she used to take good care of me in the castle of her arms. Gahhh! When did these memories become far away? Where should this bittersweet memories go? How could I have ever cared for someone so much, only to think so infrequently of her now? This must be what I’m always hearing about—the infamous heartache associated with growing up.

The first girl who ever loved me doesn’t love me anymore and it's absolute. It's totally fine and I understand, but it’s just hard to wrap my mind around how that can even happen. Once you love someone, shouldn’t you love them forever? Shouldn't be that one and only love for eternity? Maybe a part of me still loves her and cares for her, but I guess it diminished over time and I didn't keep it on track. It’s nice to think that it doesn’t hurt anymore the way it did before. I still care for her being, but seeing her love someone else is not painful anymore.

I am now happy for her.

Acceptance is beauty.