Some nights (just like tonight) I just want to break down and cry, I don’t know why, I just become overcome by sadness, I don’t even know what I’m upset about, I just feel distant and alone, and really all I want to do is cry. But even then, I can’t do that, I’ve always had dry eyes, and that makes me feel even worse, because I can’t do the simplest thing, I can’t even cry.

Some days I just want to go places like to the airport and get on a flight, any flight just to take me away from here. Just to walk away from everything and everyone. To stop caring, just once, to be selfish and live for myself instead of for everyone else. I guess I think of leaving as like dying, I’d be gone and no one would see me again. I’ve lived with the consequences of suicide, and suffered because of it, and I guess that’s why I could never bring myself to that end, so I guess instead I say I want to run away, when what I really mean is that I’m ready to die. There’s just nothing more I want from life, I’m exhausted; I'm exasperated from living by the expectations of people; I’m wounded and I just want it all to stop. Forever.