Unwell

Yes indeed, the title pretty much says it all. For those of you who can't handle cheese, this is it. Turn back now.

I know that stereotypically I'm not supposed to feel this way. But if you know me personally and you've take time to read my blog I'm sure you'd notice that I'm not really 100% happy with the way life is right now, I mean seriously it doesn't take a rocket-scientist to decipher that out but as a silver lining to this incredibly dark cloud that I'm moving through right now. I think I still haven't found what I'm looking for, I still haven't found my general spot in this universe. I mean I'm just having a hard time finding the right perspective in this world of ours.

Above all of this million things making my life more difficult, I honestly really want someone to talk to, to tell these things off my head but badly nobody wants to talk to me. Even the stars I've been looking up above the night sky elude me. I've been staring at the stars for a couple of hours now, until one very brilliant yet meaningful quote come out on my schema, "The universe only make sense when we have someone to share our feelings with." Indeed it is, this is exactly what I wanted but it really sucks and pains me to say that for almost millions and billions of people in this cruel world nobody wants to spend their spare time with me. I wish I should have been born a star so that even I'm shinning in the night sky out of nowhere there's still someone taking time looking up with me, telling me how awesome I am. Like the way I'm doing now.

This is a little bit too much for me to handle. I just want my brain to stop functioning even for a split second just to give myself a little sense of peace and serenity. I feel like I'm going to explode like a time bomb on its definite time, thinking how my life really suck.

I guess you're probably thinking that I'm really going crazy. But as Rob Thomas would say together with the rest of the Matchbox20: "But I'm not crazy I'm just a little unwell, I know right now you can't tell but stay awhile and maybe then you'll see a different side of me. I'm not crazy I'm just a little impaired I know right now you don't care but soon enough you're gonna think of me and how I used to be... ME."

Yes, this song pretty much summarized what I really feel right now. And this is probably playing on repeat in the background as the wind blows as if its gonna rain like my emotions would do chanting out of nowhere.