Renovating My Heart

I am broken, abandoned and cheated by the person I thought the one. This is something traumatic. To think that this is not the first time happened, that I was C-H-E-A-T-E-D.

I don't think if there's anything wrong with me. I loved you with all the universe implies. But what the heck? You said there's something missing. And now I've already decipher the missing piece you really lusted. Sorry, I can only give you little things in life and maybe if you just stick on to your words and wait for the right time it'd be everything more than you lusted. But I guess the only person who can appreciate the little things in me is the person with a pure heart. And it really pains me to say that your heart is not genuinely pure, your heart is full of insecurities and uncontentments. That eventually even we're together you've found someone new to whom you think will fulfill your effin' fantasies.

Is he everything you really wanted and needed in a man?

I'm so tired of trying to figure things out; trying to understand how your love went away, what to believe and what not to believe. I'm so tired of seeing you all the time and it seems that I'm seeing a completely different person each time.

The truth is, I still love you. Maybe we're both really better off without each other. The truth is, I already accepted that thing and I am no longer hurting, I'm certain of that. And that's something good to chew over. Though I feel the emptiness but I'm used to it, I'm used to losing the things I hold so dear.

Well now, I don't need another human being to be with. No, not yet, not now.

I need just myself in the meantime. Because it is only I who could renovate the scattered pieces of my heart.

I had so much love to give.

Now who's to receive this love that I have?

No one.

For I am now sealing my heart tightly closed for drastic mending. God knows when the repairing will be done.