If I were to die...

Will they ever know?
Will they ever care?
Will they ever mourn?
Will they ever be happy?
Seeing me finally vanished
off the face of the earth.
I wonder what the lives
of those in my life
may be like
if I were to die today,
tomorrow or if I never
existed at all.
I marvel at how
much of an impact
it would create
if I were to die.
Would I leave a pang
in their hearts?
Would I leave a crater
in their lives, an
un-fillable void?
Or perhaps
it would just turned out
an uneventful day —
it would not even
register a blip in their
day-to-day life.
I wouldn't even know.
I wouldn't even care.
Perhaps it isn't sane
to think of these things
but I contemplate
about such things.
I think about
how life seems
to be much better
if only I never existed.
How people could
be happier if only
they never met me.
Sometimes I wish
I had died long before
I met someone else
who left me broken,
disjointed, feeling hollow
and empty unable to
trust and love fully.
If I were to die
today or tomorrow?
Will my life ever matter
to people around me?
Will they ever consider me
as a loss in their part?
Will their life ever
be devastated?
I don't want to know,
I don't need to know —
I already know the answer.
It's just saddening to realize
how insignificant my life
would be If ever I die
today or tomorrow.
Needless to know...
pointless to ask.